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LifeisaHighway
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Posted on 12-27-09 10:04
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MY COUSIN RECENTLY TOLD ME SHE LOVES ME AND SHE WANTS TO MARRY ME AND BE WITH ME. I HAVE BEEN DYING TO HEAR THAT WORD FOR THE LAST FEW YEARS. . we both been here in US for like 2 years now and we live together. I ALWAYS LIKED HER AND I HAD A PREETY GOOD SENSE THAT SHE LIKES ME TOO. BUT THE PROBLEM HERE IS THAT I WANT TO LET OUR FAMILY KNOW ABOUT OUR RELATION BUT SHE DOESNOT WANNA DO THAT. HELP ME GUYS.I DONT WANT TO LEAVE HER AND I KNOW SHE DOESNOT WANT TO DO THAT EITHER.
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NightElf
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Posted on 12-27-09 10:33
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Life is a highway with lots of twists and turns. sorry bro dont know what to say.
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sanobhaiisthulodai
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Posted on 12-27-09 11:11
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bro..sorry to say, but this is gonna be messed up (both in ur family and genetically) if it is a conservative family, its gonna be almost impossible to convince them and leaving any family hardships. and genetically, her genes and ur genes are both 50% the same. (since she got 50% for her father, and u got 50% from ur mother, which are passed from ur grandparents - so are very similar). and when you want to start a family, ur will be sharing similar genes as ur cousin, and this causes too many imperfections. but there are many cultures and people around the world still practice this so u can research about this there. first thing is convincing your parents. and mama.
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youwanpras
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Posted on 12-27-09 11:23
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what the heck?? Are you gone crazy dude? You both need to start meditating, and find a real girlfriend not a sister.
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Ved555
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Posted on 12-27-09 11:27
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You guys are already related to each other.. why you want to add one more relationships? Marry someone else and establish one more relationship.. spice up your life. It's true genetically, it's not a good idea to produce off-spring between you two, coz that may mean that imperfect baby might be born. Why to take risk? Out forefathers were smart in a way, whether they knew it or not about genetics, but they insisted that you marry with a person who is at least 7 pusta apart.
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Jai_Nepal
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Posted on 12-27-09 12:28
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Should have thought about it before you went that road and lived together brother. Having some fun is different, but marrying your cousin?-- not a good idea.
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BudoBaaje
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Posted on 12-27-09 12:45
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लौ बा !! च्याप्प पक्डेर फुत्त छोड्नु जस्तो मोरो ! माया पिरेम मा परिम् भनेर भ्रम मा नपर है बाए । यो कुनै माया पिरेम हैन । कुर्कुरे बैँस को सानो तिनो झट्का हो । आगो र घिउ सङै बसेछौ अनी पग्लेछौ तिमेरु । धेरै तेल लगै बाजी खेलेउ होल तिमेर्ले । अनी आफ्नो पाप लाई नाम दियौ माया पिरेम को । भएको त्यत्ती मात्रा हो। रमाइलो मोज मस्ती जती पनि गर्यौ गल्ती गर्यौ। अब बिहे गरेर यो गल्ती को कालो पाटी घाटिमा न झुन्डाएस। अब छुट्टीने बेला भो तिमेर्को। त्यसैमा दुवै को अनी दुबइ को परिवार को भलाई होला। अम्रिका बा बस्छु मलाई कोही चैदैन भन्ने न सोचेस । संसार सानो भैसक्यो । नेपाल का छिमेकी अम्रिका का चिमेकी भैसके । गल्ती गर्नु गलत हैन नसुधार्नु गल्ती हो । नत्र भावी सन्तान ले च्याप्प पक्डेर फुत्त छोड्ला ।
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Shantii
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Posted on 12-27-09 12:46
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Your cousin is like your sister. It's like saying you wanna marry your sister. Very weird. :O
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Ved555
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Posted on 12-27-09 1:07
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YOu better cut-off you dick.. do you think she will accept you? Probably not... therefore you love is nothing but that dick.... definition of love will keep on changing as you progress in your age.
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tamanglakola
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Posted on 12-27-09 1:19
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Everything is fair in love and war. If you love her so bad, just marry her. This may not be common in your culture, but this is common not only in my culture, but all around the world. First cousin marriage is legal in most of the states of the US. In some states, you are required to go through medical check ups before getting married.
Last edited: 27-Dec-09 01:24 PM
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Ved555
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Posted on 12-27-09 1:25
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the question is can you two live together with your dick cut..... if yes, then go ahead.. otherwise your love is nothing but the biological need of your dick.. hope your name is not Dick.
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tregor
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Posted on 12-27-09 1:59
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most of the comments here sound right.....Everything is fair in love and war. But would you kill your dad in a war? Think abt it. Marrying a cousin is a blatant deviation from our social norms. Even sexual relationship alone is very condemnable..Now you two are in love...so can still be best of the friends and be in a good touch for the rest of your lives so u don't miss each other...that's the only solution I see here.
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altruistic
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Posted on 12-27-09 2:16
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SICK DUDE!!!! EWWWW!!!!! Stop what you guys are doing right now, and go spend the rest of your lives in penance. This is sick.. U stupids didn't even think that you guys are brother and sister...
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dukhurechari
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Posted on 12-27-09 2:34
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hope u guys don't have any physical relation yet! if yes, everything is ruined. if u guys already been in that physical relation, then there's no point of not marrying her, it would be already late. if you hadn't any physical relation yet, just try to forget everything and behave like a real sister and brother. so sad to hear you guys, u guys should have thought before letting happen all this. hope u learned a gud lesson.
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samosa
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Posted on 12-27-09 3:10
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I have heard that some ethnic groups in nepal marry their cousins ( mama Ko chhori, phupu ko chhori etc.). But, i think cousins are just like your sisters.
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Just Sayin
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Posted on 12-27-09 3:25
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I would suggest discussing the repercussions of going through with this relationship. If both of you are prepared to live independently without the support (no, not just financially) of your family (worst case scenario), then don't worry about the rest of the world. I guess you have to choose what is more important to you right now. As far as having abnormal offspring is concerned, I would suggest adopting babies if risks of abnormality are high. You'll have a nice family and things will be alright man. I'm sure you're old enough to differentiate love from infatuation, aren't you? Good luck.
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madhesi
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Posted on 12-27-09 3:56
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Marrying cousins is very common among Muslims. I heard it is very common among Magars (According to one of my Ghale Magar friends). Not only these people can marry their cousins, they have to give first preference to their cousin for marriage. That means, as long as there are marriageable cousins available, they are not allowed to marry anyone else. If they marry with anyone other than with their marriage aged cousin, they must get consent from her/him. But our society does not accept this kind of marriage. Just do not do it! Even Muslims or Magars are realizing there is something wrong with the tradition they believe in. Even they are avoiding marrying their cousins these days. I read a similar case few years ago. Cousins in India fell in love. After giving long thought on this issue, its consequences - biological as well as social, the girl decided to split! She was a doctor and moved to Canada! She kept on calling/writing to the man once in a while and slowing moved away from her cousin's life! She married another man and that was the end of the story. Splitting will be difficult, but can be done. A couple in love recently split when an astrologer told them about "Mrityu Yog" if they marry. One of them was going to die after getting married - that is what one astrologer told them. I believed they reconfirmed with another astrologer. All the love between them vanished and they mutually decided to split! Sound funny to some people, these love birds split because of one astrologer! Spitting is painful, so is divorce or death of a spouse.
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soullesseye
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Posted on 12-27-09 3:57
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Last edited: 30-Dec-09 11:37 PM
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madhesi
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Posted on 12-27-09 4:08
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Some biological problems when you marry a relative: http://www.indiaparenting.com/faqs/planningababy/marriage_cousins.shtml Q: I want to know about the blood group matches because me and my husband are relatives and have the same blood. Till now I have lost 2 babies. First one died in my stomach and I delivered. Second was delivered normally but within 3 days the child died. Can we take some injection? Please help me and give more details.
A: You will need to see a consultant gynecologist who will see all your earlier reports & then be able to tell you about the chance of a normal pregnancy. Blood group should not be the problem.
Q: I am married to a close relative. I am afraid our kids might be born with congenital problems. Are there any tests we should take before we plan our kids?
A: Unfortunately, no. While it is true that the risk of having genetic problems in consanguineous marriages is increased, this is only true if both of you have the same defective gene. Since it is impossible to screen for all genetic defects, no tests can be done before you plan your kids. However, if you have a family history of genetic problems, you may want to see a genetic counsellor for pre-pregnancy counselling.
Q: My wife and I are close relatives (cousins). In India, there is a rumour that if we are close relatives, there are chances of having defective babies. Is it true? My wife has already had a miscarriage.
A: Close relatives' off springs can have congenital abnormalities. This has genetic basis. So we do not encourage marriages amongst relatives. Small communities (like Parsis and Muslims) do have such marriages. You are already married. Worrying will not solve the problem. Be optimistic. Not all cases have problems. There are many tests to screen for any abnormality in the unborn baby especially in the USA.
Q: I married my cousin. After 2 years, I conceived and in the 4th month I had a spontaneous miscarriage with no pain. I have irregular cycles. My body is always hot � and no matter what I do, I cant reduce this feeling of �heat�. Does body heat affect the uterus or cause a miscarriage? Do irregular cycles matter? I am afraid that I may have a problem because I married my cousin. What are the side effects if I use birth control pills to regulate my periods? In the early stages of my pregnancy I noticed some light brown spotting. Is this a sign of a miscarriage? What should I do if I see spotting in my next pregnancy? It has been 40 days since my miscarriage, but I still haven�t got my period. Is this because I lost a lot of blood? Sometimes after orgasm I get a pain in my lower stomach and my body heat increases. Why is that?
A: Marriages which take place between blood relatives are not healthy from the genetic point of view and are associated with an increased risk of abortions and congenital malformations. The reason for abortion in such marriages could possibly be due to immunological rejection of conceptus where the lymphocyte cross reactive antigens of the mother and father are similar, and the maternal immune system cannot produce a protective response to maintain the pregnancy and it gets aborted. However, please note that a large number of the pregnancies end in a miscarriage (most of the time even before the woman realizes she is pregnant). As for the presence of brownish discharge on the under wear, its presence usually occurs in cases of missed abortion which could also explain the small size of the uterus. As regards the sensation of excessive body heat, I would recommend that you get your thyroid function test done. Deficiency of vitamin B also may contribute to feeling of excessive warmth. Thyroid deficiency may also cause a miscarriage. If your cycles always occur between 33 to 40 days, it is possible that you simply have a longer cycle. Chart your cycles for 3 months. If your period occurs at regular intervals, there is nothing to worry about. I also would recommend that you consult a genetic counsellor before you conceive again.
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tamanglakola
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Posted on 12-27-09 5:21
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Last edited: 29-Dec-09 11:08 PM
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