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visible101
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 Any GAy Nepali ??? coz im confused!!

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Posted on 03-28-11 2:22 PM     Reply [Subscribe]
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Ok i have been having feelings for guys! well Honestly I felt this way when I was back home as well! But I tried to supress those feelings or thought I was sick n was wondering if there are any brothers/sisters that are going through the same situation!
 
Posted on 03-29-11 3:24 PM     [Snapshot: 1321]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Visible bro, SATISFACTION is the ultimate destination. No matter what we do , we are looking to satisfy ourself ( learned from psychology class ;) ) .  Finding guy shouldnot be a big deal, but the main problem for you could be convincing your parents. So think that side of the story too.


 
Posted on 03-29-11 5:57 PM     [Snapshot: 1482]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Being Gay is not a choice its what they born as, If he doesn't have feeling for a girls its not his choice.

N guys he is talking seriously about this issues, I thought sajha was the best place to put your problems/feeling and get a genuine suggestion. But lately i think it has been covered by cockroaches who are bored n don't have anything better to do then make fun of other people.

Visible101 is looking for a genuine suggestion Guys WTF u  making fun of him. he could be you or your family members ..will you make a fun of him shame on you all .

Visible i understand your problem its not easy  in your case ..when u have to convience your family, relatives etc. but eventually if they love you they will accept u for who ur. trust me there are plenty of gays/lesbian in nepalese society now..some might hide themselves due to the fear.
but lately lot of them had come out and admitted that they are gay/lesbian.society is changing they are more acceptable.
So be who you are n what you are..do what you feel is best for you makes you happy.

all the best.
 
Posted on 03-29-11 5:58 PM     [Snapshot: 1494]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sorry to hear that you are confused. I know how it feels. I am a homosexual Nepali and before I managed to get out of the closet, life was miserable for me. You don't need to prove your sexuality to anyone else. You don't need to go around and force yourself onto girls just because of some lame suggestion you get from a person who doesn't even try understand you. Believe me there are many people who are insecure about their own sexuality so most of the time they satisfy themselves by ridiculing you.

And no, your parents will never accept you. Like most of the Nepalis they think you have some sort of disease and they want you to go for a treatment. One of my bfs was forced by his parents to go to a shrink. Was forced to get married to an innocent girl. The marriage didn't even last for a year. I was never attracted to girls and it took me 23 years to realize that I was a homosexual person living in denial all the time. My parents are living in a hope that one morning I am gonna wake up and will be "normal" again.

Just accept who you are, and things will be easier.


 
Posted on 03-29-11 6:24 PM     [Snapshot: 1533]     Reply [Subscribe]
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very well said terrypandi ..

visible101 don't shy away from it coz u r who u r .n ignore the lame suggestion. dont' make any decision on force or fear..make a decision best for you. I had a friend who from begining admitted he was a gay. He never feared nor he  was shy of who he was.

He went back to nepal he runs "blue diamond society" he is highly talented individual n he was very niece person. that' what matters not ur belief or choice you make.

 
Posted on 03-29-11 6:43 PM     [Snapshot: 1533]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I don't think you are confused based on your views so far. You are just not sure whether to come out or not and here are things to consider strongly before you do that. 

1. Overall personal happiness is the goal of your life and choose the paths that you think will make you the most happy. 
2. As you mentioned in one of your posts, out of 24 hr clock, you are probably going spend fraction of time as gay(sexually) but as an an gay individual at other times. (Consider how that will impact yourlife and happiness)
3.Consider how important your friends and families are for your life and happiness. You can choose your friends but not your parents or relatives or siblings so take this issue seriously for your persuit of happiness.
4. Consider the age you will go through 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80 - how important is it to be gay in all these years for you to be happy. At old ages other things might be more important for you to be happy than your sexual identity. So consider all aspects. Once you come out there is no turning back, at least with the society and the view we have at present.
5. Consider your job, residence (current and future) and make sure you wont have to compromise too much.
6. Alternatievely you could practice gay sexuality without coming out and come out later totally or go back to being straight again or stay the same, whaterver works for you.

Again, think long term and consider all the factors that are important for you to be happy


 
Posted on 03-29-11 6:50 PM     [Snapshot: 1533]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@ Default 061-- mile soche ku sathi...that's whay I have come out to some of my friends n suprisingly enough they seem to be very accepting!! N yes I have come out to some of my family members --at first they were like nawww ..nope ...no way but they r a lot more accepting than they used to be....Maybe one day at a time brother!

@ Crazy Nep-- Thanks man for your support! yes I am looking for genuine suggestion from all u guys! tara kahile kahi manche li na pachne ri cha yesto kura haru n I don't blame them......yetti ka barsa pachi ta hamro desh ma jat bhat , chuwa chut chan n in regards to all those my issue is pretty new....tei bhayera I m just gonna wait --One day at a time!

@terrypandi--U are very BRAVE sathi! ma sanga aile  ta mom/dad li bhanna li aat ni chaina ra I don't think I have any reasons either! tei ho heram ke huncha. Also, i used to google medications to treat Homosexuality, places that would cure this sickness n that sortta thing!! N it took me two years to realize that there was nothing wrong with me ...
I mean keta haru le ke thando hun kunni hamili ....i mean we do appreciate beauty of girls but just not in that way! Ani feri gay bhandai ma hami sab keta haru li attack garne pani ta hainau ni haha...we have our choices like how guys have for other girsl!!

 
Posted on 03-29-11 7:12 PM     [Snapshot: 1606]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Retrospect

Thank you for your wonderful suggestion!
As far as coming out , it's a very tough process n at this point i am not ready to come out to my parents! I never might! But the truth of the matter is I just don't wanna ruin my life n someone else's to prove that I am a straight man tho! Especially as u have mentioned earlier -with the society and the view that we have at the moment!
I mean hami young generations li nai yo kura pachi rako chaina bhane, what do I expect from my grandparents, parents and other relatives ya know? Aba meri katti sathi haru chan ...uni haru ni kohi yeso herda gay jasti dekincha bhane "herna tyo sale chakka " bhanera udauchan...aba aru ko ta ke kura.....yeti tha chaina ki jasli uni haru afno jigri dost thanchan hez also gay!
That's why I just came out to my friends that truly understands me!!!
tara pani thanks bro......kina bhane I also do need to consider those issues as u have suggested!




 
Posted on 03-29-11 7:37 PM     [Snapshot: 1661]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Gandhi was claimed to be bisexual. Dont know the reality, its just a claim by british tabloid.
 Gandhi was bisexual and left his wife to live with a German-Jewish bodybuilder.




 

Mahatma Gandhi never ceases to fascinate. Despite the collected works of Gandhi running into some 90 volumes, writers continue to churn out books on him. And if there's one thing about Gandhi that continues to excite his biographers and stoke controversy, it's his sexuality.

The latest biography of Gandhi, 'Great Soul: Mahatma Gandhi and His Struggle with India' by former New York Times editor Joseph Lelyveld, sheds light on Gandhi's complicated relationship with Hermann Kallenbach, a compatriot in South Africa.

In what is otherwise an admiring biography, it's the bit about Gandhi's correspondence with Kallenbach that has been picked up and headlined by a British tabloid. Reviewing the book Daily Mail has concluded that Gandhi was bisexual and left his wife to live with a German-Jewish bodybuilder.

Lelyveld quotes Gandhi's letter to Kallenbach where he wrote, 'Your portrait (the only one) stands on my mantelpiece in my bedroom. The mantelpiece is opposite to the bed.' Another time he wrote to Kallenbach about 'how completely you have taken possession of my body. This is slavery with a vengeance.'

Lelyveld has, however, denied to TOI that he intended making any insinuations about Gandhi's sexuality.

Gandhi's attitude to sex and relationships has always provided grist to the mill. Last year, Jad Adam's 'Gandhi: Naked Ambition' played up Gandhi's experiments with sex. In particular, it focused on Gandhi's practice of putting his purity to the test by sleeping with young women.

Yet another book, 'Going Native' by Thomas Weber, which has just hit bookstores, looks at Gandhi's complicated relationship with Western women.

Indeed, Gandhi's sexuality disturbed many, including his followers, during his lifetime. Nirmal Bose, a Gandhian who broke with the Mahatma and later authored 'My Days With Gandhi', wrote that his sexual experiments left a mark on others who were not of the same moral stature. Gandhi had replied to his critics by saying, 'If I don't let Manu (his grand-niece) sleep with me, though I regard it as essential that she should, wouldn't that be a sign of weakness in me?'

The truth is that Gandhi had too many angularities to box him as the Indian state and many of his followers have sought to. Besides he was brutally frank about all aspects of his life, including his sexual peculiarities. That's why he still retains the ability to shock middle class opinion

 
Posted on 03-29-11 7:50 PM     [Snapshot: 1662]     Reply [Subscribe]
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mero bad visual...ani good luck in ur future endeavors
 
Posted on 03-29-11 7:52 PM     [Snapshot: 1674]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@landlock,
Hm that is new n interesting for me!
 
Posted on 03-29-11 7:55 PM     [Snapshot: 1686]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Fat beast!

THNX SATHI!
mA JATHO LAI aMERICA MA AAYERA PO aMERICA Lagyo ta ...tapile bhannu bhako anushar !!! teso Bhaye Nepal ma hunda ke lageko thoyo ta?
Nways thanks bro
 
Posted on 03-29-11 8:23 PM     [Snapshot: 1696]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 visible101

Well bro, timro kura sune pachi I think you are legit, timro kura sahi cha bro. And thanks for changing my thought process( in right way).
It looks like it is not as black n white as we think.  I hope you will have the strength to live as who you are.  

 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:12 PM     [Snapshot: 1799]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Bodmas,
Thanks yaar...katti darayera basnu bhanera post gareko hu mile! Gay bhandima sara sansari lai change garna lako pani hina mile but at the same time Straight pretend garera afni life bhari regret garnu pani chaina......straight ko kura garne ho bhane ta gym janchu, height , weight sab diyaeka chan bagwan le ......kasalai suiko pani chaina except for my frens (true frens) that know about me...tara ke garnu aru ko agadi straight pretend garna kuni problem chaina tara afli dhatera katti basnu yaar....
Honestly , I did date a guy as well ( amrikan)  :) thiyo ...tara tei ho kura na milera break pani bho ...tara at that time I felt so lonely...yesto garo bhi ra thiyo tara kasli bhanne........sab  jana lai sancho chaina bhandi basdi ...

If u r also having the same feelings....idk im just guessing!  Sara sansar lai bhanna pardina ...tara Be true to yourself! N if u need support there are so many friends that support us including myself!

feel free to ask anything yaar..
 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:17 PM     [Snapshot: 1821]     Reply [Subscribe]
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But one thing for sure is that I am not alone in this situation! So SPEAK UP !!!!
 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:37 PM     [Snapshot: 1862]     Reply [Subscribe]
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CARTOOn ----RAted ho hai feri sathi haru! na sarapnu hola tei bhayera aile ni satarka gare hun mile!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKqKsXdokCM
 


 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:40 PM     [Snapshot: 1862]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 I meant to say I hope the best for you bud. I am straightly straight. But you changed my perpective about gay ppl.  The bottom line is one should be happy no matter what. 

There is a saying " it is better to be hated for who you are than to be be loved for who you are not: . 



 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:45 PM     [Snapshot: 1873]     Reply [Subscribe]
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Sajha is full of people who pride themselves as liberals, and when someone admits their sexuality hypocrites like NAS, jhapaliketo, terobaje like to bash their beliefs and make fun of them.
Good luck to you visible bro, you are entitled to your way of life. You are who you are; take pride in who you are not in who someone else wants you to be. Haters will only multiply.

Btw , I am straight , just because I am taking visibles side doesn't mean I am homosexual.
 
Posted on 03-29-11 9:54 PM     [Snapshot: 1879]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@Bodmas,
I really really really ***(times) millions am sorry sathi! tei bhayera mile idk bhanera lekheku hun agi!
yea btw i have getting e-mails which I will not specify who have been sending them but they r from my friends that have been going through similar situations!
I was really scared to post this issue on here N thank you to friends like you Bodmas,crazy nep, terrypandi to name few! I m so glad that I did do this:)

To all my friends/family who have been reading this --Just wanna let u know that plz respetful towards others so that u can get respect from them as well....hami lai khirela u f**king terrorist, mexican bhanda kasto ris utcha ni tyo bhanda Das guna reesh uthcha ma ra ma jasta sathi haru lai jaba kasile kuri nabhuji gay/lesbians haru tarfa jatha vabi bolchan!!
 
Posted on 03-29-11 10:00 PM     [Snapshot: 1917]     Reply [Subscribe]
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@pichas !
thank you sathi!
Thoughts like yours prove to me that there are haters n they will multiply but at the same time --what can we expect from haters ummm HATE haha So, it's no biggie!!
Last edited: 29-Mar-11 10:04 PM

 
Posted on 03-29-11 10:11 PM     [Snapshot: 1862]     Reply [Subscribe]
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 well visible bro i guess you are not confused, rather you want to know whether you are alone or not and I'll tell you, you are not!! Like I said previously there are so many LBGT in Nepal, and I know few who are still "Who's Who of Kathmandu."...Some are running good business and most of them have come out long time back!!

The story Terry told is kinda similar to somebody I know, but the sad part is, he came out to his wife after having 2 kids.....parents knew he was gay and they hurried and got him married!! and that ruined what 4 lives??? + I am sure there are few parents who understand and accept their childern as they are, so i don't agree when he said your parents will NEVER ACCEPT!!

Regarding MK Gandhi, I don't think so he's bisexual because I have read his autobiography and he was very very candid about his life and never ever he mentioned about attraction to same sex. it might be British Propaganda to discredit him. { he talks about Visiting Whore house, and regrets whole life that when his father died he was having sex with his wife}

Anyway, like Jim Morrison puts it  "People are Strange when YOU are a Stranger" [ This for all the other ignorant people]

Anyway being what you are is Not a Disease....and Homosexuality is not Limited to Human being, researcher have shown it exisits in many other species too....just a simple google search would take you to those research papers!!

All the best and don't live in Closet, tell you parents your friends everybody and FREE YOURSELF!! There is nothing you should be feel ASHAMED OF..........until that day you feel being what you are is WRONG, you can't be HAPPY!! And I feel most important is to tell the PARENTS First!!

@retrospect I respect that you are trying to help visible, but dude you gotta understand BEING GAY is not a DISEASE and it's not a ON OFF Button, so that he can swich On and OFF whenever he feels like.......it's part of him, it's WHO HE IS, as simple as that!! And I don't understand why others can't understand this simple FACT!!



 



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