I have been in the United States in the ballpark of 5 years. I came here as a student at a certain university in America's heartland, and now have a secure job. So it's quite a moot point to even say that I am not thinking of going back to Nepal. However, I still love my country and make it a personal goal to visit Nepal at least once annually. My parents have gotten a bit old and their wellbeing is always on my mind. I try to send a couple of hundred dollars to them on a monthly basis if my financial situation allows it. I talk to them by phone every week. Lately, it has come to my attention via my aunt that my parents have been searching for a prosprective groom, who in fact happens to be in Nepal. So I am in a quandary.
There is a secret that I have been hiding from my parents. I, by no means, believe in abiding by antiquated beliefs like arranged marriage. So a couple of years ago, I decided to start dating. I dated mostly White people most of the time and never really met my match. I dated a few Indians and Nepalis as well. None of them had the qualities I was looking for. Then a few months later of this little adventure, I met a Pakistani man, who was in one of my classes. Being that he and I were the only South Asians in class, we already had one thing in common. We did projects given by our teacher together. This man was a straight-A student. With his chiseled looks of a Greco-Roman statue, he instantly managed to win over my heart. As I chatted with him, and learned more about this guy, I found out that I had almost everything in common with this guy. Our relationship was strictly platonic at that point. After a few months of dating, he professed his love for me. As our relationship flowered, it slowly took on a sexual dimension as well. In fact I lost my virginity to this guy.
He has recently proposed to me. I of course said yes. Now I am in a quandary. I am not sure how to let my parents know that I am going to marry a Pakistani guy. He has said that he also wants me to convert to Islam. I am okay with it, but I don't know how my parents would react as they are quite traditional. But my mind is set.

So how do I tell my parents? Can somebody help?
Thanks in advance.

Guest4 is right and he is making sense on wat he is trying to say.

aaliyah sweety

Lets get right into the point.

Looks like you have far more faith and trust on him than he does on you. Most possibly his lack of trust and faith is making him want you to convert to Islam.

Have you ever bothered to learn about the rules on relationships between a man and a woman outside of marriage in Islam ? Well, Islam has the toughest rules on this regard among all existing religions in the world.

Well, by your own description it is very clear that he had absolutely no problem breaking those tough rules of Islam by having sex with you outside the marriage. The very point of any logic (other than his lack of trust on you as who you are as a person) to convert you to Islam ends here.

By converting you to Islam he wants to make sure that you will be obliged to abide by the rules of Islam (which is notoriously against woman and shamefully in favour of men) and be sure that you dont fall for other men or at least not have a physical relationship.

Looks like he has already seen that you too have no problem having sex outside marriage so he must have seen the possiblity that one day it might work well against him after getting married.

About interracial relationships...well I dont see it as much of a big issue but the trust and faith is.

Aliyaah sweety....

Ohh by the way ask him if he can convert of Hindu or Buddhist or Christain or whatever religion you have followed for your sake and see how badly it becomes an issue of his identity and pride. Muslims see a conversion of a Muslim to something else no differently than the death of their identity.

sweety...I bet if he can embrace this death with open heart and mind..I tell you..you have found a diamond for yourself or else he is no nothing more than a insecure fox with great image of himself.

Nothing to say... but this Aaliyah is fake if not than I think I had talked to a girl somewhere in Nevada a few years back and she was saying the same thing....

this chick only wants to come here to verify her decision.. I have nothing to say to this HOOO HOOOO.. (many chicks will come and defend her..)

He wants the people in sajha to say "Go ahead and marry that dude, it is ok"

well biatch you got your answer here... nobody approves that kindda BS and even some do than.. they are from the same catogery as you.... HOHO HOHOHHO hoeeeeeeeee

He wants the people in sajha to say "Go ahead and marry that dude, it is ok"

Typo

She wants the people in sajha to say "Go ahead and marry that dude, it is ok"

~
CHOR,
"I had talked to a girl somewhere in Nevada a few years back and she was saying the same thing...."
Are you from Nevada, just curious?

let me add some more suggestion or i would rather prefer to say comments on your bullshit topic. first of all your name itself sounds like muslim to me ,AALIYAH. Anyways, lets get to the point, who the f*ck cares who you marrying or not. get a life . i think you are fake and so is your topic.it looks like you just want to see the response frm ppl.You ask for suggestions from ppl who you haven't seen or met in ur life, that itself justifies your stupidity. my question is there are 2 billion ppl in this world and how the f*ck u got into paki mofo who tells you to change ur religion. i am shocked to knw that nepali gurls are ready to change their religion just because she loves that specific guy. love has nothing to do with religion . love is nothing but a comprise but comprise to extent where both ppl are comfortable.it sounds ike u too comfortable to change ur relgion ; its not because u gave deep thuoght on it , its because u are so called " blind in love" shit. gurl if u really gonna marry this paki invite all the nepalis frm sajha, i hope everyone want to see you .good luck on conversion to Islam and give me ur home phone # i will call ur parents and will let them knw.lol.....peace biatch........

Make sure you change religion, name and nationality immediately for following reasons:
1) we don't want to see Nepal when you are honor-killed.
2) we don't want to see Nepal when you become another terrorist.

And make sure you do not live in US and Europe so that your kids do not have to suffer, as muslims are most hated and targeted for sure.

Let me put my own speculations considering the fact that everybody did so already. This so called aaliyah is a 4 footer ugly looking bitch who never had boyfriend in her entire life. So she met a pakistani dude one day who wanted a piece of her and she was easy. She thought he loved her but the only thing he loved was her ***sy and that too when he was drunk. Otherwise when he was sober, he wouldn't even care to look at her. Since he would have a six pack while watching cricket everyday, this series of events went on an on until she proposed that he should marry her. After all she had been offering him sex, so she thought she had every right to propose to him. The dude was flabbergasted at her proposal. He was like Whoa.. this ugly four footer bitch is after me, now what can I do? Then since he thought he was smart, he made this thing up. He told her that he wanted her to convert her religion as he was confident she wouldn't do that, (as at one point when she'd met him, she had told him how her family and culture was so important to her). But his plan backfired when she said she'll do that anyway. Currently at this very moment, the dude is having a six pack of beer and watching.... NFL, still confident that he'll find a way to ditch the bitch. But only Allah knows what's gonna happen next...In the meantime he's thinking, let me flip this bitch one last time before I dump her.!!!

Aaliah dear (if you are still reading this), i empathize with you somewhat. you are stuck between a rock and a hard place, as they say. you seem to have already given your heart to this statuesque dude, but how do you know that this feeling will last? I think love/infatuation can put a veil over one's ability to make objective decisions, so just make sure that you don't commit to putting on another veil for live. This decision is irreversible. you can marry a nepali dude or anyone else, and get divorced if things sour. but once you convert to islam, there's no turning back. so i would suggest you to think hard about how you want to spend the rest of your life. you may feel like you could easily spend the rest of your life with mr perfect right now, but how can you be sure that your feelings for one another won't change? you may feel like he was the first one, so he's special. well, most people prolly dont marry their first these days anyway. it's no big deal.

give it some time. tell your parents that you are not thinking of marriage right now cos you need to go to grad school/become a little more independent or something or the other. tell the dude the same thing. this is too sudden (a few months with a paki dude is sudden, IMO). you will perhaps reconsider your decision when you notice that straight A's don't necessarily translate into intelligence, and that the statuesque feature is endowed like most greco-roman statues, whose models prolly had to strip naked in freezing temperatures.

but in the end, if you truly feel that you can be happy for LIFE, you should make that decision and be willing to take responsibility for the repercussios, whose burden will be squarely on you, not your parents (who would probably feel sad to see you sad). and btw, once you convert to islam, only your immediate family (mom, dad, who wont live forever siblings) will give a rat's ass about you. forget other nepalis.

i have to comment on pakis. i have met quite a few pakis. some are nice and some aren't but there is something wierd about them that i cant quite put my finger on. what i know is that i could not open up to them (with the exception of one friend) in an honest and straightforward way. i always felt like if the dude ever needed to strike me on the back with a machete, he would not hesitate. This particular dude is obviously egocentric and has no respect for your own culture, upbringing, values and religion. he's pretty much saying sthat he does not give a rat's ass about your past. converting to islam is not just embracing the religion, it's about changing the way you live, think, talk, eat and drink. also, you'll be severing ties to your family, close friends and your country. is it worthit?

do whatever you do, do what makes you happy. as far as approaching your parents is concerned, there is no doubt that your decision will break their hearts. i think musaltes and kales are in the same pecking order when it comes to marriage. but if you do decide to plunge into this abyss, follow arnico's suggest, which to me sounds quite reasonable. anyway, good luck sweetie.

kai kt ,,,, talai bajini, eutai gatilo nepali bhetinas??? kai ... pakistani sanga lagnu parney yo kai kt lai .... talai desh nikala garnu parcha, gar gar paki lai bihey gar kai kt ...

Go n' get married with paki as this thread shows he's much better than any of us here. You'll have 2 suffer even if u marry with any extremists like us, so why don't u give a try with the one you're in love with.

gwagyo, if extermist were giving advises on the message boards then we didn't have to watch Nepali kid getting hallaled in Iraq last year....

Gwagyo, the girl is asking for suggestion. if she didn't want to hear anything that would not going to like then she should not have posted for asking for suggestion in a public forum.

Gwagyo, i wonder how open minded pakis can be if the girl posts the same message on thier message post , but changes the conversion from Ismal to hinduism. Yes, let's see how pakis act when she writes the same thing and writes that her lover is becoming hindu and leaving islam for her love. I would like to test the openness of pakis..

Aaliyah,

I would say go for it. Even if you are making up a story for fooling us or just to think out loud, go for it, girl. You have already tested the fruit and know its taste.

Just find out whether he is already married back home or his parents have already lined up one for him. You don't want to say you are # 1 or # 2 either.

I read somewhere that Durga Pokhrel had once said the size of Pakistanis are big and feels good. Just remember, the size is not something that lasts long. But you seem intelligent enough to know all these things. Go girl, go and produce a few in a few years. Love has no boundry. We will tell your parents that you have gone with a nice looking, kakhi smelling, bahun, and not to worry. They will be find as long as you keep sending that $200 a month and a weekly phone call.

eewwwwwwww gotta be yuckyyy to have sex with a circumcised penis every time. DISGUSTING.

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Aaliyah! to sum up everybody's decision here, watch this 1991 movie

"Not Without My Daughter".

- http://imdb.com/title/tt0102555/

Aaaliyah is married..............let's stop this thread..........

Dear Dyamn,
Look at all the posts above. It reflects our narrow-minded character. We've as petty mind as they do.The most important thing is to be good person (no matter where u come from or your backgrounds). LOOK AT US. We think that we're superior than all the races. What's wrong in getting married with Pakis? We're trying to look at all Pakis with one eye (through all the bad stories we've heard). Don't we've bad stories of discrimination against intercaste marriage? Being from same country, same caste, same religion or same status may have some points. But these may be outweighed by many other characters as she described. READ novel by SHOVA BHATTARAI (Canadian resident married to one of muslims; infact she was rescued by him).

Read also caste discrimination in NEW YORK
http://guild.sajha.com/guild/read.cfm?guildid=65
Many stories like above have been published in newspapers; like Dalit students were kicked out by landlords in kathmandu.

We like to dominate our wives too. How many of wives in Nepal get beaten by nepali husbands? Pakis don't need to wear burqas n' more likely she's going 2 stay in USA.My point is that she might live much happier life by marrying with muslim than any of us.

P.S. She's asking opinion only 2 deal with her parents as she's decided to marry with him anyway.

i don't have time to read any of those b.s .. i don't want to either.. it's the gir's decision whatever she wants to do. i don't think Nepali ppl think they are superior than other races. No one has said that on the post here either. However, we do have little bit of pride( well with some of us). and yes, if somone asks for suggestion we give them..
I don't think we're proud at all. I think most of us has gone weak. I've seen ppl converting to other religions, trying to be something they are not all the time.
Gwajyo, your references are not enough to change the preceptions of muslim on non-muslims.