I have been in the United States in the ballpark of 5 years. I came here as a student at a certain university in America's heartland, and now have a secure job. So it's quite a moot point to even say that I am not thinking of going back to Nepal. However, I still love my country and make it a personal goal to visit Nepal at least once annually. My parents have gotten a bit old and their wellbeing is always on my mind. I try to send a couple of hundred dollars to them on a monthly basis if my financial situation allows it. I talk to them by phone every week. Lately, it has come to my attention via my aunt that my parents have been searching for a prosprective groom, who in fact happens to be in Nepal. So I am in a quandary.
There is a secret that I have been hiding from my parents. I, by no means, believe in abiding by antiquated beliefs like arranged marriage. So a couple of years ago, I decided to start dating. I dated mostly White people most of the time and never really met my match. I dated a few Indians and Nepalis as well. None of them had the qualities I was looking for. Then a few months later of this little adventure, I met a Pakistani man, who was in one of my classes. Being that he and I were the only South Asians in class, we already had one thing in common. We did projects given by our teacher together. This man was a straight-A student. With his chiseled looks of a Greco-Roman statue, he instantly managed to win over my heart. As I chatted with him, and learned more about this guy, I found out that I had almost everything in common with this guy. Our relationship was strictly platonic at that point. After a few months of dating, he professed his love for me. As our relationship flowered, it slowly took on a sexual dimension as well. In fact I lost my virginity to this guy.
He has recently proposed to me. I of course said yes. Now I am in a quandary. I am not sure how to let my parents know that I am going to marry a Pakistani guy. He has said that he also wants me to convert to Islam. I am okay with it, but I don't know how my parents would react as they are quite traditional. But my mind is set.

So how do I tell my parents? Can somebody help?
Thanks in advance.

Dear dyman, I'm here neither 2 convert any1's relgion or nor I do need 2 change mine. I just feel weird sometimes, how much we feel proud of being hollow nepali (with our caste, religion, country). I don't think changing religion is gonna change any of my character. However, it's strange 2 see outrage of ppl on her (specially on religion issue).

I went 2 church last month. The padari was speaking inside a big hall (live TV) saying all other gods like other polytheist gods (he mentioned name of Buddha) are FALSE gods. Only Jesus is the true god. N' every1 was clapping n' saying 'yeah, yeah...'. I just felt that we all belong 2 same category (speaking against others n' promoting hatred n' creating division to prevent meeting among beautiful persons) no matter where we r.

Gwajyo,
Okay , maybe some ppl are speaking out of hatred, I don't have a say to that because i don't know what they are thinking when they are writing.
I was commenting on the situation of the girl. What saddens me is how weak we are. yes, we can go to church, go to mosque but we don't have to convert to them. Nepali people are converting to anything , everything that comes along. Why can't we stick to our values and pride. that does not necessarly mean being extermist. We can be open minded, love everyone, and politely but firmly stick to our values.
We don't have to take bad part of the values. We should be able to use our judgement. Education and travel comes to play on that. However, converting is a big deal. I don't think marrying a muslim is a big deal , but converting to get married is a big deal. My only concern on this story is why does she has to change. Why can't she be a hindu and get married, or why can't he change? cuz we're weak? or we're to much of a open minded?
You lebeled Nepali as extermist. now thats a serious word. I would think many times before using that word to defend pakis. but it's your judgement, although i don't agree with it, i respect your values or one love and all that goodies..

gwajyo, you are missing the main point here. the bone of contention is the fact that the paki wants to prosletyze a fellow nepali girl. if the muslate were OK with accepting her the way she is, it's no problem. the problem is that the paki cannot behave in the open-minded way that you espouse. a musalte needs to do certain things for a confirmed one-way ticked to heaven where 72 black eyed virgins will be eager awaiting his arrival. one is to make a trip to mecca. another is to prosletyze someone into islam. there are several others, which i am not 100% sure about. i don't think the quran lists strapping a bomb on your waist and walking into a bus full of innocent people as one of them, though. anwyay, you get the picture...

gwajyo,
U think you're too open minded? What credential do U have to prove that? Looks like you never had a Muslim friend. Isn't that true? I'm not saying hello, hi ones but someone you've dealt personally.

* eagerly awaiting *

think of it this way. each action i listed above accrues bonus points (as on a frequent flyer mile deal). when enough points have accrued, the musalte goes to heaven.

this just showed up on yahoo (really fresh news)...for Aaliyah and gwajyo
- http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20051101/ap_on_re_us/us_pakistan_rape_victim
Just a piece to prove the point we're all saying here.

damn fanatics...we need women like mukhtar mai to make sure these fanatics are kept in checks and balances.

* proselytize *

Damn........it took me whole day to follow thru you guys comment (ahh....i was in the work and i can not just come to sajha and read stuff!!)..........but interesting coz she (or she like some said) wrote the story and she/he vanished and we are still giving our views....

Think INTERCASTE mariage (heaven forbid INTERCULTURE marriage) should NOT be practised and therefore should be banned.
We should start working on preserving our pure culture and gene pool. If we dont act on this who will? It might should very orthodox and "pakhe" but at this present time and age, its started to come up as a very divine mantra to self-preservation and self-respect.

--BV


No offense but Vincent Bogeda dude sounds like hitler -- Preserving cure culture and gene pool. hahahaha

It's amazing how much racism and hatred is displayed in this thread...

Hey Paki Boy
Get urself fresh air, snan(bath) in Ganga, Shave ur head n TURN INTO HINDU if u love her so much as so- claimed, u lover boy.

One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
Hear the children crying (One love)
Hear the children crying (One heart)
Sayin', "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
Sayin', "Let's get together and feel all right."
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa

Let them all pass all their dirty remarks (One love)
There is one question I'd really love to ask (One heart)
Is there a place for the hopeless sinner
Who has hurt all mankind just to save his own?
Believe me

One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right
As it was in the beginning (One love)
So shall it be in the end (One heart)
Alright, "Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
"Let's get together and feel all right."
One more thing

Let's get together to fight this Holy Armageddon (One love)
So when the Man comes there will be no, no doom (One song)
Have pity on those whose chances grow thinner
There ain't no hiding place from the Father of Creation

Sayin', "One love, one heart
Let's get together and feel all right."
I'm pleading to mankind (One love)
Oh, Lord (One heart) Whoa.

"Give thanks and praise to the Lord and I will feel all right."
Let's get together and feel all right.
(Repeat)

- Bob Marley

Oh really? He looks like a Greco-Roman statue? So I assume his pecker is tiny as well. Greeks felt that puny wangs were more aesthetically pleasing and looked cuter. Bravo, you fell for somebody with tiny li'l wang.
This Paki c-sucker just wants that junk you got in that trunk. He wants to get love-drunk off that hump, know what I mean?
He wants your lovely lady lumps.

Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnnn...

Aaliya:

do you understand anything about Islam at all? In Islam... conversion is not appropriate unless u yourself acknowledge the need to be so and can not be forced. let your bf know taht too. and by the way.. you have already violated the code of islam... premarital sex! Anyways..... if you feel comfortable enough to have sex with that man.. u must be pretty serious. but know one thing..... IT IS DEFINITELY difficult to survive in another culture..regardless of your concversion to islam or his conversion to hinduism. . so be prpared.. Good luck!

Hahahahhaha, okay, I read the whole goddamn thread. Nepalis are funny as hell.
So I guess it's okay to go clubbing and show your punani to everybody like a whore, but dating a Pakistani is a strict no-no.

WE Nepalese, .......
simply we are the best, the way we react, the way we curse, anything we do is simply hillarious.

You are making the biggest mistake of your life. I have seen similar mistake done by one nepali girl who was fell in love with this paki guy. Despite being such an educated, he treated her as any muslims. 1st it started with conversion to islam then giving up on personal freedom. Now she is in Pakistan with her conservative muslim in-laws, and she hasn't been able to contact her parents for years now, who by the way already have dinnounced her for marrying muslim. Many of you might say this is one instance. You may be right, but think about it, it will be hell for an indepedent Nepalese woman to be live in islamic law. Wise man once said "love is blind...but doesn't have to dumb".

If you can't tell your parents, give that honor to your paki BF-he can convince your parents like he did U to convert to Muslim. In your part, get the no. and call your BF's families and find out you are 2nd , 3rd, or 4th in his life. Seems like U chose paki coz of size.shame on you. U are degrading yourself and nepli.

Girl, wake up!

Tell u the truth, nobody can give you an advice.

This is ur life and u should know better.

my only advise to u is be honest with urself.

Anyway, whatever u do you have my best regards.